Some people among us have a strange sense of civic duty and public service. Their idea of moral uprightness and charity lies in offering their opinions! Yes. They sit in judgement on their shining pedestals to offer us, beings of lesser understanding, valuable opinions about all kinds of things, things that we cannot comprehend or judge on our own. Like the blogs we read here, for example. Of course, you and I, since we have not an iota of brain to lay claim of, need all the assistance that is being thrown at us for free to know if what we read on these pages is actually good, bad or ugly. Right! And I am Elvis Presly.

The truth is there's no dearth of opinions. We all seem to have one. But very few know where to keep it. And those of us who are full of 'it', make neat tidy little lists of them, give it cute names and publish it! Of course, disguised as innocuous personal favorites or hmm...yes, opinions! Since it's a free for all publishing space, doesn't cost a dime either. Ask yourself this. If you have to put money where your mouth is, how many of your opinions would be forthcoming? Exactly! None. And that's what they are worth too. Nothing.

It is said that while bad manners can be hereditary, callous attitude is acquired. And that's exactly what desperate opinion-mongers (sellers of opinion!! LOL) everywhere have. Bad manners and a callous attitude.

I wonder why they do what they do? My only explanation is that for some strange reason that's beyond commonsense, they have come to believe in the absolute, important and urgent necessity of telling the world what they think of it. Whether asked or not, whether anyone is interested or not. Obviously such people think very high of their opinions. If not, why would they be so eager to share it with the whole wide world? I still haven't seen people walking around wanting to talk publicly about their wet dreams or genital warts. Have you?

They would justify their opinion-mongering under many pretexts. The most favorite being, Human Rights! Which apparently includes, among many other things, every man, woman, child and imbecile's right to not only have but also express their opinion.

I would say, likewise, a person has a Divine right to fart too. But we don't see people farting in public places. Why? Because it isn't considered civil. Because it is inappropriate. Because it causes extreme unpleasantness to the bystanders and also because, it makes you look like a absolute idiot. That's why. But farting as such is not wrong. It's your birth right – divinely bestowed upon you! But when you want to exercise it, it is recommended that you choose the comfort of your own home or rest room. Nobody will come and tell you not to fart there. Except maybe you're by now sick husband or wife.

Most of us learn some basic manners and social skills at home. Our parents try hard to instill at least a few good qualities in that department so that we don't grow up to become complete misfits in the society. For example, always open the door for a lady, never get up from the dinner table until everyone present is done, offer your seat for elders, don't stare at a woman's boobs, never try to grope her in crowded public transports and stuff like that. It is called civilised behavior. But somehow, some kids grew up without every being taught where their opinion should be kept or what it really amounts to. If you are not aware of it as yet, please know that, casting your opinions for free like they were nuggets of wisdom is a most irresponsible act. Second only to fathering a child with your maid and running away from home. So, in the spirit of public good, do take this suggestion.

In a civilised society it is not considered courteous to blow stinking hot air in public just because it is your's. No matter which bodily orifice it comes from, it is absolutely cruel to the people around you. Letting loose such unpleasantness on unsuspecting and innocent civilians is not only irresponsible, but it is downright depraved.

Do you think we can work towards better understanding here.

Let's say you have an opinion. What? You do have an opinion, is it? Good! I am sure all of us here on Sulekha are very happy to know that you are capable of such extra-ordinary human accomplishment. But please, keep it to yourself. Till we are done with the next lesson in civil behavior.

And it is not an abnormality if your opinion does not match with those around you. If everybody had the same opinion, all women would be married to Brad Pitt and all men to Anjalina Jolie.

Now, let's imagine that the opinion you have is about a particular post of mine here. I am assuming you read them before you start having opinions. Or are you one of those who have an opinion because someone else here who has an opinion shared it with you because someone else who had an opinion shared it with him/her? Nah. I would like to believe no self-respecting individual would stoop to such pathetic levels of intellectual and moral corruption.

You see, when you blindly give in to an opinion someone else has or claims to have, you actually are telling him/her that you have no ability whatsoever to think for yourself. That you are basically a stupid cow that is more than happy to sniff any donkey's ass which produces foul smelling hot air.

Now, considering you are not that depraved, and you have actually read my post and feel the uncontrollable need to violate the world with your opinion, please feel free to visit my comments section. That is what it is there for. Use it as your urinal/rest room. Do your opinion-ating bit there. Do as much as you want to. No one will object. Feel free. You are most welcome to use it. In fact, nothing would delight me more.

So the next time, before you feel the need to alight with your opinions on the world like a over-stuffed pig with diarrhea, pray take a moment to read Eleanor Roosevelt's opinion about the character and intelligence. It's enlightening, to say the least.

“Great minds discuss ideas.

Average minds discuss events.

Small minds discuss people.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Now, go right ahead and crap your heart out!

Do not assume that I believe my little post here is going to rid this world of opinion-mongers. Nope. Absolutely not. On the contrary, I see the birth of many more. Especially, with an opinion about me.

According to the opinion-mongers, I have to be a piss pot! In my opinion, they are no better. So it is a perfectly balanced world that we live in. At least, there can be no two opinions about that.

[Click here to read more about 'Opinion-Mongers' -
'To Those That I Don't Read.']