I think of myself as a good writer. Oops! There. Did I just manage to miff Sulekha's proud majority in the very first line itself? Not at all good for someone who wants to engage in a fruitful dialogue with the intelligentsia here. But then, foot in the mouth disease isn't contagious. So, thank God, you are safe!

Now before you leave this page in a hurry, vowing never to come back and hear songs of self glory by a narcissistic amateur on Sulekha, let me make my premise clear. It will help you make a better judgement, which is most essential to the discussion we are to have now.

A good writer, according to me, is someone who respects your time. He or she is someone who works diligently to ensure that the time you spend on his work is most rewarding. Because he knows that every second you give to his work is a second from your life! The most priceless thing on earth. He remembers it. Always.

So a good writer pays for his reader's time with his blood, sweat and tears. He honors it with his life itself. It is like a love affair. The writer promises the stars, the moon and the sun. And the reader, in return, offers the writer his/her love. And their relationship grows in time like a gentle river that flows towards the mighty ocean.

This is the sacred pact between a writer and his reader. The writers who uphold it with their very lives become legends(while there are many to name, I will only mention Nikos Kazantzakis).The others disappear amidst the morass of mediocrity and finally, oblivion that awaits them.

Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath and forget everything I just said.

All that love affair, and honor for each other is history. This is the age of Social Media! There are no more readers on earth. Only writers who will be happy to flip through any junk you write as long as you are willing to return the favor.

You can piss on them, insult their intellect, and rub their neat little faces in dog poop. Treat them like cheap whores and still be read! Why, you can even become successful! Don't be surprised. This is the magic of Social Media!

Write trash if you want. Especially if that's all you are capable of. Nobody cares. But learn to schmooze. It's called networking. More politely, getting to know and staying connected with those around you. After a while, if you start to feel as if you were born to schmooze, push that feeling down to where it came from. Vomit if you like. But keep going. You will soon get used to it.

Keep yourself in the public eye. High visibility is essential for growth. Never, ever go off the social radar. If enough people know you, chances are you will be a successful writer. Nobody may read you, but you will be successful nevertheless! Everybody will be happy to say they read you. And that is what matters at the end of the day, isn't it? Success. Sweet Success.

But what you must NOT DO, and please pay attention when I say this, what you absolutely must not do is be ASOCIAL. If you are not social in this age of social media, it really doesn't matter who you are or what you have because you're screwed! For the world, you are a nobody and you will remain a nobody. (You can read more about nobodys' here.)

A big question of great ethical and moral significance to the very future of writers existence came to my mind today, thanks to a friend on this site who has stopped visiting my blog because I no longer visit her blog.

The question that my mind posed is this - 'Is it is fair of me to NOT return the favor of those who come over to my blog space, leave their comments and sometimes, even their recommendations?' Should I not be going over and doing it to them too? Or if I don't go, is not their time and effort on my space wasted (C'mon, don't tell me people actually come to read me! That would be insulting them and their genetically superior intelligence.)? After all, this is Social Media, isn't it? If they are willing to become another number in my readership count, why cannot I do the same thing? Scratch my back and I'll scratch your's – the law of survival and all that!

What about you? Do you think it is right or wrong not to go and comment on those people's blogs that come and comment on your's? Do you read so that you will be read too or do you read because it delights you?

Now while we ponder on that, some may say that we are here to increase our knowledge – broaden our horizons. Right! I bet we were all first class students in school and just couldn't wait for teachers to imbue in us the wisdom of the ages either. Don't make me laugh that hard, please. Those that say such nonsense are here to dish out their crap (which nobody at their home or in the neighbourhood is willing to listen to) and make us believe that it is THE knowledge that we all should use to broaden our horizons with!

Honestly, I think, the whole idea of a site like this is to help us hoodwink innocent bystanders into commenting on our soliloquies that they haven't read thereby giving us an impression that we have been understood and hence, allow us to sleep better at night. Free psychotherapy! That is what this is all about. Not writing. Not really.

I have just a few loose ends to tie in my theory on social media and success. Then I will write a book on 'How to Be A Successful Writer Without Writing A Word.' Will it succeed? I guess you will just have to wait and watch. Because right now, I have to rush. Between now and Sunday evening, I plan to leave comments on 21,894 blogs. I have a target of 100,000 this month. What about you?