You know, some people are born famous, some achieve fame and some have fame thrust upon them. The tragedy of my life is I fall in the last category. It isn't my fault. If you ask me, I would rather be mostly invisible in our society. Of course, being invisible has its benefits too. But that's not the point here. I am not much for being a hot topic of conversation of jobless people everywhere. It just doesn't feel right or good to me. But then, life has been exceptionally cruel.

When I was caught smoking at the age of 11 or 12, I immediately attained some sort of a cult status among 100 odd people that comprised my family! They said I was a radical and loose canon. They must have been right. Cause soon after I was caught buying smokes for two of my cousins who were 14 at that time! That episode fuelled a scam that lasted a month or so.

I cross my heart, I really didn't want anyone to know anything about me. Not then, not now.

Similarly when I decided to bunk school for 10 days in a row, and dad received a letter from the principal asking if all's well with me, I was once again pushed into the limelight against my wishes. For a long while, it was the only subject of conversation in my family circles and neighbourhood. Everybody had a theory about what I could possibly have done in the 10 days when I was absent from school and away from home at the same time. People would point at me or look strangely as I walked past them on the road. Suddenly, everybody seemed to know me. I was their favorite passtime.

At 15, once again life smiled at me conspiratorially and instantly I found myself the talk of the town. This time I was being hailed as a 'dope fiend' by some and as a 'dope peddler' by others. The truth is, I was neither. But bored people cared nothing for facts. They liked the idea that a passive, pathetic locality like theirs had a 'cool' dude who showed great promise of putting their neighbourhood on the map soon. I am sure they thought I would grow up to become a Dawood Ibrahim. Or at least, a Charles Shobaraj. They rejoiced that I was better looking than both and hence media would be happy to lap me up with their both hands and tongue!

Around the same time, when good kids of my age were blushing before A-rated English movie posters, I was said to have had sex in the bathroom while on a school tour! Hah! How I wish. So, my popularity kept rising to dizzying heights without much help from me. I had absolutely no clue what I had done to deserve all this adulation. By the way, the only people who seemed to be pretty cheesed off by my fame were my parents. They had started rummaging through my room more often than before. I can only guess what they expected to find.

Then came the reports of me being thrown out of college for being drunk. That was absolutely untrue. Our management never had problems with kids drinking as long as they were trying to find truth or write poetry. But then, like I told you, nobody cared about the facts.

Sometimes I have wondered if I was not born to provide the bored public with fodder for conversation. It was like they were waiting for me to do or say something so that they could all be happy once again. I guess I haven't disappointed them as yet. Being kind and generous, I have made myself worthy of their time – by turning my life into as juicy and raunchy an affair as I can. Now it resembles a Mahesh Bhatt movie – absolute paisa vasool!

Well, don't think I grudge my fame. I am used to it now. Plus, I must say that thanks to my early brush with fame I've completely at ease with it now. I know exactly how to handle it. So If I go on to win a Booker or something equally interesting to the bored public, I know how to react and what to say to the press. I guess when you are famous the public is lovable. What say you?